Lei

On Dying

This topic has always been on my mind for as long as I can remember. Ever since my father died I have always wondered if I would follow him in his footsteps. I've had temporary bouts of nausea for the past week and I rarely get the flu or a even the common cold. Chatting over the net with Gambit this afternoon, I found it interesting that he was ok with dying young. Back in first year university, I remember telling someone that I didn't expect to live a really long life. Maybe until forty at the time and now, I would have to agree with Gambit. I would be complacent with dying young as well.

The liver is the largest organ in the body and because so, one could live normally with just twenty percent of it functioning and not detect any signs of failure. I found an excellent reference book called The First Principles of Gastroenterology. It looks like some sort of standard first year medical text book. The language is more easily understandable compared to your standard medical literature. Chapter 14 was my first section of interest. The associated symptoms of known liver diseases and methods of cure. And what I find interesting is the connecting functions of the neighboring organs down the GI tract. Everything needs to work in harmony together or the balance is lost. Gambit's current problems appears to be associated with the lower gastrointestinal bleeding. Completely curable in my opinion but don't quote me on it. I'm not a doctor.

I think I'm almost at the same age that my father died when he succumbed to liver disease. I was only six at the time and while standing at the foot of the hospital bed, the doctor had asked me if I wanted my father to live. My brother was standing beside me gave me a knudge to say no. I remembered this for a long time and resented my brother for it. Maybe my memory was just a really bad distorted fantasy in my head. I told this story to the wholistic doctor before and she told me that it was an angel asking me the question. The reason being that sometimes children have not yet developed their protective psychological walls imposed on them by society and fear. The other reason I thought this didn't make sense is why would a doctor even ask such a question to a family or children. Who knows? All I do know is that I still feel a bit sick.